As the days wind down till the arrival of Baby Liao, I’ve been thinking more and more about my upbringing, the models that my parents created, and the said and unsaid expectations that come with it all. 

One of the phrases that have emerged in recent conversations has been along the lines of, “Wow, if only I can be as good of a parent as my parents have been to me.” 

If only. 

To be clear, the ‘if only’ statement comes from a positive place. My parents, like so many other immigrants who came with almost nothing, showed what sacrifice meant day in, day out. They found a way to get an education, excel in their corporate job, raise a family in a safe area, and modeled what it meant to be generous, kind, and loving followers of Christ in their community… along with so much more. 

In other words, they set a pretty darn high bar for me to follow. 

If I had to be honest, the high bar is intimidating. Fearful even. It’s also why it’s easier to just go for ‘if only’ which in some ways, sounds similar to settling for ‘just good enough.’ To believe and have a vision for anything more than ‘just good enough’ would feel greedy and even selfish for spoiling the path that my parents had fought to lay down for us. 

But like all things in life, there’s another perspective that’s also available. 

It’s crazy how powerful a simple phrase can be in shifting perspectives and injecting new faith. In a recent night of leadership training, Pastor Adam encouraged us to consider changing our language from, ‘if I can get to’ ‘how can I add to?.’

How can we add to the legacy? Yes, do your best to do all the things your parents modeled for you but why not dream bigger? For me, it would almost be more of dishonor to my parents to NOT take advantage of the opportunity I’ve been given. I think of a house that’s been built from the ground up after years of hard, physical labor that ends up sitting on a lot for a few decades. It’s liveable as itself but it begs to be designed, furnished, and filled with the echos of laughter from the families and friends that share in its space. Having this choice is a gift in itself and a gift that perhaps my parents didn’t get to have as they were trying to make it and live out their American Dream. There’s a new level of intentionality to the choices I make and HOW I make them as each stage of life arrives and I continue to get tiny glimpses of what it took for my parents to get me here. It’s time to fill that house! 

So what does adding to the legacy look like? It looks like having a head start in how the Liao’s can continue to have impact and influence in this world. It means advancing His Kingdom in even more generous and miraculous ways. It means taking bolder steps of faith in all capacities of life — expanding Vessel Talent, expanding our capacity to lead in our community and workplaces, and expanding our family. 

It also means thinking ahead to the next generation, with Baby Liao coming in any day now and the legacy that she gets to add to in the generations to come. 

Baby Liao, we’re ready for you.